Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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