Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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