My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize