Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize