So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
