Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
