i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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