oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
