a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
