38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this boner is exhausting
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
