Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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