I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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