I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
