Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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