hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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