what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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