She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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