i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
