Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you had me at cake vodka
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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