Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
