You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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