you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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