sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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