she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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