so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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