His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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