he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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