O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
