We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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