She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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