Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
where are my eyebrows?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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