im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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