I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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