Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
