If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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