lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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