it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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