i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize