Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
