It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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