All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
