Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
