Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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