If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
