I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you made out with another girl for some wings
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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