I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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