It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
