just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
