I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
