You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
