direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A bitchslap is in order.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
