yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
