i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize