Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
