This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
