I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
