Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.