My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.