Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(