Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.