did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
oh god the rape fog is back!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?